Sunday, July 24, 2011

Moustache or No Moustache: Wedge's Mariners Are Keeping the Nightmare Alive

Eric Wedge tried to shake things up by shaving his vaunted moustache, but the Mariners are still sinking to unpredecedented lows with each loss.

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As if it wasn't bad enough that a big fat Gypsy Moth flew into Eric Wedge's eye on Saturday night at Fenway (see vid above), Wedge happens to be the manager who has conned the U.S.S Mariner to a new level of stinkiness.

The Mariners were thumped by The Redsox 12-8 today for their 15th consecutive loss today, even though the teams hard luck manager decided to shave off his Fu Manchu moustache before the game. I guess that is bad news for the 142 people that "liked" Eric Wedge's mustache on Facebook, but good news for the three passionate souls who joined the group "People against Eric Wedge's Mustache."

"Drastic times, drastic measures," said Wedge.

The Mariners, whose previous worst losing streak was 14 in 1992, will play their next three games in the Bronx against the Yankees. Seattle is only 8 games away from breaking the previous modern era MLB record of 23, which is held by the '61 Phillies. They will face the Rays at home next weekend if the streak is still going, and finally the A's on August 1-3.

"I hope they don't push forward that T-shirt order," added Wedge, who was referring to the Mariner's "Fear the Stache" T-shirts that are reportedly being sold at Safeco field.

Can the Mariners top the Phillies record of ineptitude? Can they push it even further and break the Tampa Bay Bucaneers record of futility for an American sports franchise, which stands at 26 consecutive losses? More importantly, will Eric Wedge find new and even more creative ways to express himself without the moustache?

My guess is no, no, and no, but I'm hoping for yes, yes, and yes.